Signs of Spring
Art of Poetry student Alison has shared two of the poems she has written – one from Assignment 1 and one from Assignment 2. Alison would like to invite constructive criticism of her work and encourage an open dialogue amongst her peers.
Signs of Spring
Through winter’s grey, the dip and curve of boughs
keeps hope alive. Pale, downy growth pushes through
the parted scales of tacky buds, sinking and rising
on capricious breeze.
A shepherd and his dog round up the ewes,
in fields that stretch away, awash with swirls of last year’s leaves.
Waves of sheep, ringed by darting black and white,
gather in a heaving bunch, and break off in twos and threes
towards the lambing shed to wait their time.
Broad-girthed they shift and pace, ‘till with a gush,
wet, matted fleece on spindly stilts.
All legs and tail.
Munch’s Madonna
Behind my softly shuttered eyes
I picture the scene as I rise
from my bed of ecstasy, tear
the hot halo from my head
and spin it across the gallery
like a frisbee for a dog.
Constructive criticism is defined as the process of offering valid and well-reasoned opinions about the work of others, usually involving both positive and negative comments, in a friendly manner rather than an oppositional one. The purpose of constructive criticism is to improve the outcome.
Image: Edvard Munch, Madonna. 1894.
6 thoughts on “Signs of Spring”
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I loved both of these poems. They well measured and descriptive but they are more than that: each one hints at a metaphorical existence in the mind of the poet beyond what is being described, which to me is the gift of all poetry. The frisbee halo of the Munch and the darting black and white of the sheep dog in a sensual setting of the other are memorable. Well done, two first rate poems.
Thank you for sharing your poems. I think they are both really beautiful, and the second one is funny as well. The description of the trees in winter recalls the very smell of those wet branches and fallen leaves. Birth is always a surprise, and happens so quickly, after the long wait, even when you’re watching ewes lambing. Your last line cuts across the waiting, pending stillness of winter in just that way.
I enjoyed reading both of them. The second poem really reminded me of sudden urges that can occur behind a patient exterior I sometimes try to attain! the ‘s’ sounds and the way the word ‘spin’ punctuates their sensuality to take me off into a different scenario.
Thank you all three for your thoughts and impressions.
I feel abashed to see my small poem, Munch’s Madonna posted in close proximity to an image of the amazing art work itself. I was arrested by the painting when I saw in in the Hamburg Kunsthalle; it stirs complex emotions in me.
I find the process of writing poems mistifying and frustrating. They come as and when they will and never to order!
I am very pleased that people have taken the trouble to think about what I’ve written and to give me feedback. I’d welcome suggestions for improvement as well as the lovely positivity!
I encourage anyone else to give this posting our work a try. There isn’t enough coverage of the work of students studying writing, in my opinion, and I’d love to see more and feel able to discuss it.
Hi, Alison,
I found the writing course challenging but very interesting. I think it is the least talked about course that the OCA does and this can seem very lonely for students. I enjoyed the poetry course, but I think you are right- a place to discuss the work involved may well prove to be a valuable thing.
Hi Alison,
Thanks for the invitation. It would be lovely to offer you ways of improving these or any of (your) poems. There are no changes I would make technically, from what I remember, the subject matter for both of them is fresh and memorable and the poems are funny and they both stretch the reader’s level of experience to appreciate them. I think these poems do you credit- I enjoyed reading them. Any more?